Banana car header graphic

F.A.Q.

Frequently Asked Questions

Below Steve answers a few of the most commonly asked questions.

Q: Why a Banana?

I have always been into building hotrod cars and for a while I had been wanting to build something unusual. I was planning on building a huge peanut roadster only because it’s the logo of a nut company in Michigan but I had a falling out with them over a rather unpleasant incident concerning two bags of peanuts.

On January the 14th I bought a bag of their salted peanuts priced .59c and upon examination of the contents found there to be 223 peanuts. One week later I bought a similar bag from the exact same store, priced the exact same amount and found that there were only 218 peanuts. I wrote a stern letter to the company asking them to account for this deplorable discrepancy but never heard anything back. I’m sure that in a similar situation you would drop all affiliation with such a company but I’m the forgiving sort and so I still enjoy their peanuts and have found that I can count them while they are still in the bag hanging on the rack.

It was the day after I didn't hear anything back from the peanut company that I decided I no longer wanted to build a big peanut car.
To cheer me up Amanda, who was unpacking groceries at the time, jokingly suggested I build a huge banana instead. I gave her a withering look and thought no more of it.

A few days later I was standing in line inside a gas station and noticed a bowl of fruit sitting on the counter by the lotto machine with a number of bananas for sale. I don’t know if you have ever really studied a bunch of bananas but you’ll notice something quite interesting. The bunch consists of two rows. The bananas at the back are really curvy, just like you think of when you think of bananas, but the ones at the front are fairly straight. They curve at the one end that connects the bunch together of course, but then run fairly straight and level.
I picked up one of these “front bananas” and started studying it from every angle. As I viewed it from all sides I started to see that it would be a perfect shape for a car. I pictured where the wheels would go and where the occupants would sit. Where the engine and bumpers would fit.
After a few minutes of intense scrutiny I suddenly realized that the lady behind me was staring at me intently. She must have been thinking “It’s a BANANA! Buy it and eat it and let the rest of us pay for our gas and move on with our lives!”

I then rushed back to the house and told Amanda “I’ve had a great idea. I’m going to build a huge banana car”

   

Q: Are you wealthy?

Wealthy?!
Heck no! Not at all. Not in the slightest. Not even close.
That’s so funny that you would even think that.
You obviously haven’t crept up to my kitchen window under cover of darkness and spied through a chink in my threadbare curtains and watched as I desperately search my refrigerator pathetically hunting for something still edible.

You haven’t right?

Because someone did.
I found footprints in the snow this morning right next to the broken snow blower under the window sill. They were either male size 11 or female about size 5. It was hard to tell.
I called the police but I think they now have caller ID

   

No it wasn't me.
But you must be wealthy, you own a webhosting company.

Well yes it’s true. I do own GalaxyGig.com webhosting but it’s only at the break even stage right now. In a few years it will be at the point where it can fund a global gallivant such as this but not yet.

   

Q: Can I ride along for a while?

Maybe.
See our Join Us page.

   

Q: When are you leaving?

Oh sure I'm going to tell you that so you can go my house and rob me.

   

Q: How long will the trip take?

I'm guessing 3 - 4 months. (Maybe more like 6 to 8)

   

Q: Will you be doing any PA's?

If “PA” means “Preemptive Assassinations” then no.
We won’t be doing anything like that at all.

   

No. PA means "Personal Appearances"

Oh. Then Yes.

   

Tell me more.

If we can stop for an hour or two along the way at various commercial outlets and earn some gas money by entertaining people with wonderful and thrilling stories while standing next to a huge banana carwe will be happy to. It sounds like money for old rope to me but if you've got the dosh we'll find the time.
Just bear in mind that all our stories will be in English and so if you speak another language you will need to bring along a translator. (We're British so that might be a good idea in America also.)
Another good reason for a translator is that if they don't like our stories they can just make up their own.

   

Q: How much will you charge?

It depends how far out of our way we have to drive to get to you. Drop us an email and we'll let you know.

   

Q: How do you see this play as a TV show?

At first there was a lot of visits to junkyards (or "Auto Recycling Centers" as they are now apparently called) and so we envisioned it as:
Monster Garage -meets- Junkyard Wars.

Then of course with the whole "world trip thing" we realized that it's was more like:
Monster Garage -meets- Junkyard Wars -meets- The Travel Channel.

Because we are building a huge banana there is the element of food and so it became:
Monster Garage -meets- Junkyard Wars -meets- The Travel Channel -meets- The Food Network.

We now see it as:
Monster Garage -meets- Junkyard Wars -meets- The Travel Channel -meets- The Food Network -meets- Monty Pythons Flying Circus.


Although it's been suggested that it's more like:
Sesame Street -meets- Ishtar -meets- Wacky Races -meets- National Lampoons Vacation -meets- Mad Max

   

Q: Where will you be starting from?

Ah. That is a very good question.
Because we will effectively be driving in a giant circle our start point will be the same as our end point.
That means that it will be a very important part of the journey and so will need to be very carefully chosen. Well..... either carefully chosen after considering all the relevant details or auctioned on eBay.

   

Send us your question.

Your Name:
Your Email:
Your Question:
Please Choose:




 
Submit